Pink is for girls
And blue is for boys
If you don’t know the gender, we are all encouraged to buy lime and yellow baby accessories.
This has been the practice for decades.
We announce pregnancy, or the idea of adopting a baby and people including the parents start to match a specific colour to the gender of this baby who knows nothing about colour, gender and expected gender roles.
Young girls are taught to perform household chores and the boys are expected to clean the yard or do nothing.
In my home, while growing up, both my brother and I had chores, but he would get away with not doing anything. I had to wash my underwear whilst he could just pop them in the laundry basket. I remember that we had turns to clean the one bathroom we had, and I would end up doing it most of the time.
I honestly felt that I was performing most of the household chores and when it was time for us to either move bricks or clean the yard, you would find my mom and I actively involved in the cleaning and sweating our asses off as much as my dad and brother.
This story basically illustrates how we as people create and nurture these stereotypes ourselves.
We as women are born warriors and its time that we honour this.
We are told that we are way too emotional, we are told how to sit like a lady, that our worth is closely linked to how beautiful we are, the size of our bodies will determine whether someone will find you attractive. We are only seen as important and worthy of attention if our hair blows in the wind and if it moves from side to side. We become sex objects and fear looking too sexy.
We are raped, abused, murdered, lied to and cheated on. The sad reality is that we already have existing self esteem issues relating to not being enough, we now too have to face the fear of being betrayed by others and mostly by the people we love the most. The fall out from this is the onset of mental health issues like anxiety and depression. The path to recovery is hard and somewhat ongoing. Will we ever reach the point where we are able to trust anyone again?
And As if this is not enough, we women also have to deal with the possibility and increasing trend of women bringing each other down. In business, relationships, friendships and work. Why? Why would you even think of knocking down a gender that already has so much to deal with? Why would that bring you joy? Why?
#iseeyousis and I honour you. You are not defined by the colour of your skin, the amount of money you make, and your man definitely does not define you.
You have to get to a space where you are ok with being yourself, owning your space without having to explain yourself to anyone. And while you do this, you are raising other sisters to that same space.
We as women, have to get to a place, where we forgive ourselves for our past mishaps, cos you no longer live there sis.
Never flow from a place of hate, Be kind to yourself, so that you can be kind to others. Kindness is an act that cannot be underestimated and so much joy is experienced by both the giver and receiver.
We have to own the right to say enough is enough and that my place in the world is not defined by the stereotypes of the past.
We have to allow ourselves to accept what is and move forward, never looking back. Our past is there to teach us, not for us to relive it.
Woman, you are strength personified. You have climbed mountains, you have sailed rough seas and you have overcome the most challenging times in your life that you thought was virtually impossible.
I want you to know right now, right here, that you are not the first and you are not the last. I have been there, I was you, I see you and I honour you.
So woman, assume the warrior pose, and feel centred and strong!
Much love and light!
Lezel Molefe Author & CEO – Ikigai Therapeutic & Development Agency
BSocSc (SW) Hons; Psych (Hons) : University of Cape Town
If you are in need of any counselling assistance pertaining to self – esteem, self – worth and self – awareness challenges, feel free to email us on firstname.lastname@example.org or contact us via whatsapp on +27677017554